You’re not a leader if you
- are a CEO of your own company and you have two contractors having a dispute and you tell you staff that you don’t want to hear about it and you’re the only one that can resolve the issue. Leaders are not afraid of confrontation.
- avoid renegotating a contract with a contractor in order to solely drive the price down
- avoid answering questions with dead silence
- avoid eye contact while obviously telling a lie
- are in a network marketing company and take the training funds your group paid you to take winners of a contest out for dinner and let them believe it’s a gift from you
- are in a networking marketing company and you criticize your team for not getting people to an opportunity meeting and you haven’t as well
- avoid negotiating at all
- forcibly legally bring in a third party to take your side
- blackmail people
Years ago I worked with a group of people and after their business failed I moved on. A friend of mine John continued doing business with one person out of that group. This person (don’t remember his name, let’s call him Frank) was a big wig in the community and had connections. He would hear of opportunities and tell John. John would work on a deal for months without Frank. If the deal worked out and was about to make money Frank would show up and assume leadership. He used NLP reframing techniques and would convince John that he deserved a vast majority of the money. No written contract, no verbal contract. Just sheer con-man.
You’re not a leader if you just have connections. You have to have leadership skills.
When John told me this story I told him we call those type of people leaches. He laughed. I had seen Frank do this before which is why I don’t do business with him. John instantly saw that Frank was just taking advantage of him. John looked up to Frank, he thought he was a leader. But Frank wasn’t a leader. He didn’t do anything but tell John of an opportunity. That deserves a referral fee. It doesn’t deserve being manipulated and convinced that you’re stealing from Frank.
Be you’re own leader. Be the person that would inspire you.
If you are mentoring someone giving constructive criticism is appropriate, but what is inappropriate, make that just plain wrong, is blame.
Inspire people by doing what you say. If you are teaching a sales technique and you don’t use it yourself and then blame people for sucking at it, it’s your fault. You have to be a leader by doing not just talking. And if they try to convince you that no it’s really just your fault, that you suck and they aren’t being a leader and showing people how it is done then rethink them being a leader for you.
People look up to leaders that are DOING. Not just talking. Leadership is active not passive.
Find someone else. If you’re in network marketing connect with your upline. If you’re a small business look for another mentor or another mastermind group. Don’t put up with “negative leaders”. Those two words shouldn’t be side by side. A leader can’t be negative. If your energy is low after talking to your mentor, leader, or mastermind group rethink talking to them at all, ever.
Losing energy with leaches will eventually destroy your business, yourself, your family, your entire life.
Leaches need you, you don’t need them.
You deserve better and you are the only one that can make that decision.